Awkward Bonding Moments
by mariaco790
Summary: Dialogue fic that places Kurt in odd situations with the other male members of New Directions. Rated M for occasional language and implied sex.
1. Chapter 1: Puck

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 1: Puck**

_A/N: This is sort of a semi-sequel to my other story 'Awkward Furt Moments.' It isn't necessary to read that first, but feel free to do so. Like that, this is also a dialogue fic. I feel that Kurt doesn't interact enough with the other male members of New Directions. So I decided to make him do that, in odd and disturbing ways, don't ask me why. Timewise, this takes place mid to late season 3. First up, Puck._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"What are you smirking about Puck? This is a lot more embarrassing for you than me."

"It's funny is all. And what have I got to be embarrassed about?"

"You're naked."

"And?"

"Never mind. I'm going to kill Santana and Blaine. Those two should never be allowed near each other while drinking again. I can't believe he talked me into doing 'seven minutes in heaven' with him."

"You're telling me; there I was thinking 'wow, seven in minutes in heaven with Santana, I haven't been with her since she turned into a lesbian.' "

"And yet instead of my soon to-be-ex boyfriend, I take off my blindfold and see you, butt naked and moving in for the kiss."

"Again, I'm sorry for that."

"You didn't even bother taking off your blindfold first."

"Well how did I know that Santana was going to pull the old switcheroo."

"It's Santana, she's always planning something."

"Well her and Blaine have been awfully chatty tonight. No doubt conspiring against us."

"I hate them."

"Get over it."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Incidentally, why are you naked?"

"Santana told me to strip off."

"And you just blindly obeyed."

"Why are you complaining? You're getting a full view of 'The Puck' in all his glory. Enjoy it while you can Princess."

"Could you at least try to cover up a little, you know guard your modesty instead of showing it off for the world to see."

"Why? Is it turning you on?"

"Making me sick, more like."

"Some gay guy you are, can't even handle looking at a little dick."

"Little?"

"You know what I mean, shut up."

"..."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just, now that I'm thinking about it. It isn't as big as you frequently say it is."

"It's flaccid, if you'd like I could show you it at full mast."

"That won't be necessary."

"I'm telling you, 'The Pucker' is scarily large."

"It has a name?"

"Of course, it's so big it's practically a whole 'nother person."

"I'm sure it is. Can we stop talking about your genitalia now."

"Hey, you brought it up."

"Elephant in the room, one of us was going to mention it sooner or later."

"Elephant huh?"

"Puck!"

"Alright, changing the topic."

"We don't need to talk. Let's just pass the time quietly."

"If you say so."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You know, I'm surprised at you Hummel."

"Some silence that was, lasted all of twenty seconds. Why are you surprised?"

"From what Blaine says about your bedroom activities, seeing another guy naked really shouldn't be that uncomfortable for you."

"...Blaine has told you about our private time together."

"Oh, this and that."

"Like what."

"Handcuffs. Whips."

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely dumping him now."

"You know I almost didn't believe him, until he brought out the video."

"Which video?"

"There's more than one?"

"Wipe that suggestive smirk off your face Puckerman."

"What? I'm happy for you. My boy Kurt is getting some. And he's a firecracker in the bed."

"PUCK!"

"Alright, I'm shutting up."

"Thank you."

"..."

"..."

"You little minx."

"Puck!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You know, this isn't fair."

"What isn't?"

"I thought I was gonna get some action in this closet. I was preparing for it."

"Tough. What do you mean you were preparing for it?"

"Would you be alright if I –"

"You cannot be serious."

"Dude, I gotta get some relief. I haven't blown my load in a couple of days in preparation for this party. "

"That's disgusting. And who were you planning on getting with. Every girl here is in a relationship, except for Quinn, and she barely tolerates you."

"I thought there were going to be other girls here. Come on, just close your eyes, cover your ears and face the other way. I'm already getting a semi."

"Gross. And I am not doing any of that."

"Well then watch if you want, just don't say anything until I'm done.

"Puck! No! You are not doing that. You can wait until you get home."

"I don't think I can hold out that long, I mean, it's crying for attention, look at how big it's gotten."

"Okay, that is seriously impressive."

"Told you."

"But no, if you can't wait until you get home, at least wait until we're let out of this closet, so I can get as far away as possible from you."

"I'll try."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Dude, it's not going down."

"..."

"OW! What that fuck was that for!

"Pick a reason."

"Dude you stamped on my bare fucking foot with those crazy shoes of yours."

"Puck."

"Oh Hummel I swear, your death is going to be painful."

"Puck."

"Pick a fist, left or right, keep in mind I punch better with my left."

"Puck."

"Let's see how you like it."

"PUCK!"

"What?"

"Look down."

"Why would I lo-? Oh it's gone."

"You're welcome."

"Wait, did you -? How?"

"Pain and distraction."

"Oh nice one, thanks."

"No problem, now let us never speak of this again."

"Done."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Uh Hummel, just so you know. You ever do that again and I will slam that pretty face of yours into a wall."

"Noted."

* * *

_A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated. Next up, Sam!_


	2. Chapter 2: Sam

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 2: Sam**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"Hey Kurt have you seen my bl- whoa."

"Um, hi Sam. How are you?"

"Fine, uh, you?"

"Can't complain."

"Good, that's uh, that's good. Are we really not going to talk about this?"

"We don't have to, no. You can walk out and pretend this hasn't happened."

"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to do that."

"I figured you wouldn't be able to."

"Not every day you walk in on your friend slash roommate naked and handcuffed to his bedpost with nothing but a pillow covering his junk. Blaine?"

"He wanted to try something new."

"Ah, where is he?"

"He left the keys for them at his place, he went to get them. Weren't you supposed to be out with Puck?"

"He got called home, his mom needed the car, we had to cut it short. I'm guessing you thought you'd be home alone."

"Kinda, yeah. Was there a reason you wanted me?"

"My blue V-neck?"

"Laundry room."

"Right, well I'm uh, I'm gonna leave you with that and go gouge out my eyes. Later dude."

"Wait, Sam?"

"Yes."

"You think you could pass me that bottle of water, I'm kinda thirsty."

"Uh, I guess. You need me to hold it for you?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"Sure, are you like totally naked under that pillow?"

"What do you think?"

"I figured as much."

"..."

"..."

"Thanks."

"No problem. You know your wrists look a little red, are those cuffs too tight."

"A bit."

"'A bit?' Dude your wrists are pretty rough looking. Have you got a paper clip or something?"

"Desk, top drawer. Why?"

"I'm going to try and pick the locks for you."

"Where'd you learn to pick locks?"

"Puck taught me."

"Of course he did."

"Alright hold still."

"Watch the pillow. I'm exposed enough as it is."

"Gotcha, trust me I don't wanna see your junk anymore than the next guy. You know apart from other gay guys. I mean I'm sure you have very nice junk, I'm just not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with gay people. But when it comes to -"

"Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Stop talking."

"Thank you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So Blaine's idea, huh?"

"Yup. I didn't really want to do it, but he persuaded me."

"Yeah, sure."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"I've seen the video."

"Oh God! Not you too."

"You little minx."

"You used to be a stripper."

"I'm shutting up now."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You nearly done?"

"No idea."

"I thought Puck told you how to do this."

"Well Puck isn't known for his teaching skills."

"..."

"Speaking of Puck."

"Oh no."

"He happened to mention what went down in the closet at that party last week."

"He told you that?"

"Oh yeah."

"How much did he say?"

"The Pucker."

"He mentioned _**that**_?"

"Went into great detail."

"You have my sympathies."

"Thanks, but you saw it firsthand."

"God, don't remind me."

"If it helps, he has a nasty bruise on his foot."

"That does help."

"I thought it might."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What's that mark?"

"What mark?"

"There, above your nipple, it's like a bruisy scar."

"Why are looking at my nipples?"

"It just caught my eye. What is it?"

"Oh it's a birthmark."

"It doesn't look like a birthmark. And it wasn't there a few weeks ago when we went to the pool."

"I uh, I got bit. By the cat."

"We don't have a cat."

"It was Lord Tubbington."

"Lord Tubbington hates you."

"Hence the bite."

"It was Blaine wasn't it? Blaine bit you."

"..."

"Gross, I just had to ask, didn't I. Moving swiftly on. But you might want to keep covered up in case Burt sees."

"This coming from the guy who removes his shirt with alarming regularity."

"No I don't."

"Last night we were watching a movie. You complained it was too hot. Rather than open a window or turn down the thermostat, you just tossed your shirt away."

"Yeah well I wanted to be –"

"Three days ago at dinner, you spilt some ketchup on your shirt, within 5 seconds the shirt was gone and you were eating dinner as normal."

"But that shirt was –"

"And my personal favourite, last week at glee practice a tiny spider was on your top, next thing we know, the shirt went out the window, spider and all."

"Ok, I get your point. You can stop now."

"..."

"Done."

"Finally."

"Just need to get the other one now."

"If you want you can leave it until Blaine gets back."

"Blaine lives like an hour away; I'm sensing it'll be a while before he's back. I'll just switch over and – whoa!"

"The pillow!"

"Ok, didn't need to see that."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault. Well it kind of is, but whatever."

"Well this just got a whole lot more awkward."

"Pretty much."

"..."

"What?"

"I've just realised I've seen every guy in glee's thing."

"Excuse me?"

"Locker room, and after football practice."

"Ah. Congratulations?"

"Yeah."

"Even Schuester's?"

"That's disgusting."

"Yeah I know, just checking."

"Done."

"Bless you."

"You're welcome."

"Can we uh -?"

"Keep this between us, done."

"Thanks."

"No problem. But for next time ..."

"Be more careful, I know."

"Right, well I think I hear a car pulling up, probably Blaine, so I'm gonna leave, hang out with Artie or something and leave you two to it."

"Probably best."

"Yeah, later dude. Safe sex and all that."

"Bye Sam."

"Oh hey Blaine, wow I never noticed that you such sharp teeth."

"What?"

"BYE SAM!"

"Ha! I'm going."

* * *

_A/N: Tell me if you loved it (or hated it). Next up, Mike!_


	3. Chapter 3: Mike

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 3: Mike**

_A/N: A little less awkward, a little more bonding in this chapter._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"Finn, are you in here?"

"Kurt?"

"That's not Finn. Mike?"

"Yeah."

"I'm hearing you, I'm not seeing you."

"Over here. In the showers."

"Have you seen Finn? I'm supposed to drive him ho- why are you tied to that pipe?"

"Finn left like twenty minutes ago."

"Without telling me, very considerate of him. Now my other question?"

"A prank."

"Puck?"

"And Sam, and Finn, and Blaine, and the rest of the guys."

"Why?"

"I had to cancel on video game night."

"So they tied you to a pipe?"

"And took my clothes."

"Yes, I was getting to that."

"Well thankfully they left me with my underwear at least."

"How very generous of them."

"You know what I mean."

"So they're just going to leave you here overnight?"

"No, they'll probably come back in an hour or so, or tell the cleaning staff that I'm in here."

"This isn't the first time this has happened, is it."

"No, we do this a lot on each other."

"Why?"

"Pranks and whatnot."

"And you wonder why I don't hang out with you guys."

"Well obviously we wouldn't do it to you."

"Why not? Am I not worth it? Am I not one of the boys?"

"No wait, what I meant was, uh but, you just said -! Hang on; you're toying with me aren't you?"

"Aren't you supposed to the smart one?"

"You gonna help me out of this or not?"

"Ha, sure."

"Whoa, you carry a penknife on you?"

"Recent events have forced to be prepared for any occasion."

"Yes I heard."

"Sam told you? He swore he wouldn't."

"Actually I was talking about that night with Puck. What happened with Sam?"

"...Nothing."

"Kurt?"

"Shut up and hold still while I cut the rope."

"He's still a little angry at you, you know."

"Sam?"

"Puck. That foot thing really hurt him."

"Good, he deserved it what he tried to pull."

"Heh, double entendre?"

"You're above those jokes Mike."

"Right, are you nearly done?"

"Almost, this rope is really thick."

"..."

"..."

"Done."

"Great. Now what?"

"Now I drive you home."

"You don't have any clothes I could borrow?"

"None that'll fit you, no. I think Finn left his old gym clothes in the trunk of my car, but they're –"

"Not the cleanest?"

"I was going to say disgustingly unhygienic. But your words work well too. It's fine, my car has blacked out windows, and we'll take the back roads. No one will see."

"Good, and Kurt? Thanks man."

"What was I going to do? Leave you here? I only imagine you would do the same thing in my position. Now come on, let's go."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I love your car."

"Everyone does."

"How's my baby, by the way?"

"She needs a new crankshaft, stop by the shop in a couple of days, should be ready by then."

"I still find it hard to believe that you know so much about cars, it's just like completely unexpected."

"I'm a man of many talents."

"True. Can I turn up the heat? I'm kind of cold."

"Yes, I can see that."

"Huh? Oh, nipples, right."

"Haha, go ahead."

"You know, I was just thinking, in the nearly three years we've been in Glee, I don't think we've ever spent any time alone together."

"That's not true, what about that time last -, no Blaine was there, well there was that other time when -, no you weren't there. Oh how about that time -? Nope, Tina was there. Wait, I think you're right. Well that's morbid."

"You think it's weird that I've spent a lot more time with your boyfriend who I just met a year ago than with you?"

"I don't think so, I mean you and Blaine have a lot more in common than you and I. Just like I'm closer to Tina."

"Yeah I mean, we're still friends, we care about each other, and like each other, right? And we'll keep in contact after we graduate."

"Yeah, but maybe we could something together soon, just the two of us."

"I'd like that. Does this count?"

"No offense to you and your ridiculously impressive abs..."

"Thanks."

"...But can we do something that involves both of us being fully dressed?"

"Huh?"

"It's just that lately whenever I've been alone with one of the other guys, one of us is usually in little to no clothing."

"What the hell happened with Sam?"

"You really don't want to know."

"Don't I? I saw that video."

"Has everyone seen it!?"

"Pretty much."

"I'm going to kill Blaine."

"Just threaten to withhold sex. It's a really good punishment, Tina does it to me."

"I know. She told me."

"Oh. Just how much does she tell you?"

"Enough. If it helps, I don't let her tell me all the intimate details. I know girls talk, and I may be an 'honorary girl', but I do not want hear about that stuff."

"I can understand that."

"And we're here."

"Thanks again, man."

"No problem."

"So, Breadstix?"

"Excuse me?"

"To hang out. Say tomorrow about 7?"

"Sure, I'll pick you up."

"It's a date."

"..."

"Later Kurt."

"Bye Mike."

* * *

_A/N: Again, reviews are greatly appreciated (even bad ones). Next up: Artie!_


	4. Chapter 4: Artie

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 4: Artie**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"Stupid corn syrup gets everywhere. Going to have spend twice as long in the shower later."

"Kurt?"

"Artie?"

"Why are you in the disabled toilets?"

"I got slushied, trying to clean up. Needed to strip off, and hardly anyone comes in here. You?"

"Take a guess."

"Right, sorry."

"Who slushied you?"

"Puck."

"Still mad about that foot thing I see."

"It was weeks ago, you'd think he'd let it go."

"I don't know, he still has a pretty nasty bruise."

"Yeah well, I'll get out of your way in a minute, just need to hold my shirt under the dryer."

"No hurry. More time I get out of history the better. Don't you usually bring an extra set of clothes with you in case something like this happens?"

"I stopped; I haven't been slushied in months."

"Ah."

"..."

"What's that mark?"

"So Blaine bit my nipples, big deal! You don't need to make a whole big thing about it!"

"...I was talking about that weird stain on the mirror."

"Oh."

"But uh...good to know."

"Um, about that."

"Whatever you and Blaine get up to behind closed doors is nothing to do with me."

"..."

"..."

"Are you checking me out?"

"What? No. Of course not."

"You totally are."

"I was merely appreciating your physique, and ...comparing."

"Uh huh, sure you were. You know Artie? I've always gotten a bit of a bisexual vibe from you."

"I'm not bisexual."

"You know Brittany once told me that you have an Enrique Iglesias poster on your wall."

"He's a great artist."

"She said it's a very revealing poster."

"You know, don't get all high and mighty on me Kurt, I've seen that video."

"And I bet you loved every second."

"Can we stop this now?"

"Sure, I know better than anyone how hard it is to be teased about your sexuality."

"I'm not bi!"

"Course you aren't."

"Can you hurry up? I gotta pee."

"Hang on a minute."

"..."

"..."

"Ha!"

"What?"

"You. You're doing everything you can to avoid looking my direction."

"Not really, I just find my shoes a lot more interesting to look at than your frighteningly pale, porcelain-like body."

"I'm sure."

"You done."

"Almost, just need to button that, and done."

"Great. Now get out."

"How civil of you."

"Well I've discovered that I don't particularly enjoy your company."

"Likewise. Bye Artie."

"Bye."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh hey Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"We still on for movie night later at my place?"

"Absolutely, I've been looking forward to it all week. I'll bring the Chinese food."

"Great, later dude!"

* * *

_A/N: This chapter is noticeably shorter than the others, and I apologise for that. I just find Artie difficult to write for, and struggled with this. But anyway, moving on. Next up, Rory!_


	5. Chapter 5: Rory

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 5: Rory**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"Fknstnknhr."

"Hello?"

"Lo?"

"Is someone there?"

"Krt?"

"Why is there a dumpster talking to me?"

"Krtmnthrubsh."

"Why does the talking dumpster have an Irish accent?"

"Hlp!"

"Rory? Is that you?"

"Ys! Hckyplyrsthrwmen!"

"Yeah, I didn't get a word of that. Hang on until I open the lid."

"..."

"Hi there."

"Hi."

"You were saying?"

"The hockey players threw me in."

"Why?"

"Something about Bono being the Anti-Christ."

"Understandable. Need a hand?"

"Please."

"..."

"Thanks."

"I was wondering why you weren't at glee practice. Have you been in there since school ended?"

"Yeah, they caught me off-guard. You know, it stinks in there."

"Yes I do know, it was only a few short years ago that Puck was tossing me in the dumpster."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he used to hate me."

"He still hates you. That foot thing –"

"He used to hate me a lot more."

"If you say so-ow!"

"You okay?"

"I think I landed badly in the bin. My shoulder kinda hurts."

"Turn around."

"..."

"Okay, you've there's a bloody stain on the back of your shirt, lift it up."

"What?"

"Lift your shirt up, I need check how bad the cut is."

"Um, I'd rather –"

"Just do it."

"..."

"Okay, it doesn't look that bad, I think I can treat it."

"What?"

"Is that your go-to word for everything?"

"What?"

"I thought so. Listen, I need you to go the boys bathroom beside the choir room, don't worry about the Hockey players, they don't practice on ...well actually I don't think they ever practice, probably explains why they're so terrible. But just go in there, I'll be along shortly."

"But..."

"Go!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Alright, sorry I took so long. Had to dig through the trunk of my car to find this."

"Is that a first aid kit? You keep one of those with you?"

"Yeah, you live with Finn Hudson for a year and a half; you learn to accept that accidents will frequently happen."

"Is he that bad?"

"Think of a 200 pound gorilla with less grace."

"Wow, so when you said you were going to treat my wound...?"

"Oh don't worry. I'm quite good at it. Between having to patch Finn up every other week, and minor accidents with my dad and his employees in the auto-shop, it's a useful skill I've picked up over the years."

"I don't know ..."

"Trust me; I know what I'm doing. Now, shirt off."

"Wait..."

"Look, you either let me do this, or wait until it gets infected and have to go to the doctor."

"I hate hospitals."

"Well then, shirt."

"It's just..."

"Is this some weird Irish Catholic homophobia thing?"

"I think so, I'm not entirely sure. I mean it's not that I don't like gay guys, it's just I don't really know how to act around them."

"And you're not entirely comfortable with turning your back on one with your shirt off."

"I'm sorry?"

"Not your fault that you're from a stupidly religious country. But let me put your mind at ease. I'm guessing you're familiar with why Puck currently hates me."

"Because you almost broke his foot."

"And why?"

"Because he was naked, and turned on, and wanted to ... oh, I see what you're getting at."

"Yeah, I willingly put myself in Puck's bad books by injuring him, rather than simply let him play with himself in front of me. I may be gay, but I have taste, and self control."

"I guess you're right."

"Alright then, can we hurry up and get through with this?"

"...It's just."

"Yes?"

"I saw that video."

"That was Blaine's idea, he made me do it. He was very persuasive, and he has been thoroughly punished for showing it to everyone."

"Okay."

"Shirt."

"..."

"Alright, I need to clean the wound first, this will sting a bit."

"I'll be fine."

"Here goes."

"..."

"Wow, not even a peep, I'm impressed. At this point usually Finn is fighting back tears."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's really just a big softie. But don't tell anyone; don't want to damage his tough guy football player image."

"Noted."

"So how are you finding America?"

"It's a lot different. People here aren't killing each other over religious differences."

"Is is really that bad back home?"

"500 years and people are still pissed. It's a lot better than it was though. And while I say religion, God has very little to do with it, it's more like a historical religious thing."

"That sounds terrible."

"Eh, I'm used to it. You nearly done?"

"Almost, just need to put a bandage on ... and done."

"Cheers mate."

"See, that wasn't that bad."

"Yeah, you're right. Listen I'm sorry about that whole thing."

"I'm not offended, and I'd like to think I've opened your mind a little."

"You have."

"Good. You need a ride home?"

"No, Brittany's place is only a few streets away, and I'm still covered in rubbish. I don't want to mess up that nice car of yours."

"Good point."

"But thanks anyway."

"Well, see you later Rory."

"Thanks Kurt."

"Oh, a little tip? In order to avoid this happening again, just admit that U2 are awful."

"...Never."

"Your funeral."

* * *

_A/N: Sorry if this one got a little political and preachy, but I was half asleep when I wrote it. Fun factoid. Damian McGinty and I from the same country (Northern Ireland), we share the same name, and I go to university in his hometown. Just thought I'd share that. Anyway, next up, Finn!_


	6. Chapter 6: Finn

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 6: Finn**

_A/N: This chapter references my earlier fic 'Awkward Furt Moments'. It isn't necessary to read that first. But you know, go ahead if you feel like it. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate you?"

"At least twice a day for the last 18 months. And five times in the last ten minutes."

"Well here's a sixth one. I hate you."

"It's not my fault."

"I know. It's just that it usually is your fault, and on the rare time that it isn't, I find myself confused about what to say."

"How about, 'Oh Finn, of all the people I could have been locked in the basement with, I'm glad it was you.'"

"I just don't see why this couldn't have waited until after breakfast at least."

"Because I'm meeting Rachel for lunch to prep for our duet, and you promised to help me dig through Burt's old vinyl records to find the best song. Which aren't even down here by the way."

"Yeah sorry, I forgot we sold them at a yard sale about a week before you moved in. My bad."

"Why?"

"Well it was back in our old house, we didn't have a lot of space, had to get rid of a lot of stuff to make room for you and Carole. Hence the yard sale."

"Just my luck."

"Try iTunes. You know, like every other teenager."

"I guess I'm going to have to."

"..."

"..."

"I'm going to kill Sam."

"He doesn't know that the basement door doesn't open from the inside. And he didn't know we were down here. He saw an open door; he closed it, simple mistake."

"And then went out for a breakfast date with Mercedes. And with Dad and Carole in D.C., and both of our phones upstairs ..."

"We're stuck."

"Yup."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You know Finn; I think this is starting to become a regular thing for us."

"Being locked in the same room with only each other for company?"

"Between being trapped in that sauna of a janitorial closet a few months back."

"Not my fault, by the way."

"Totally your fault, by the way. And being trapped in the bathroom a few weeks later."

"Now that definitely wasn't my fault."

"I don't know, I'm still convinced that you planned that one."

"I didn't."

"Right, and now stuck in the basement."

"Well, it gives us time to hang out with each other."

"Finn, we live together, your girlfriend is my best friend, and we go on double dates all the time. We see each other plenty."

"Well excuse me for wanting to hang out with my little brother."

"I'm three months older than you."

"Not the point."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"It's cold down here."

"It's an unheated basement. You know that Finn. You come down here on warm summer days to cool off. And if you knew you were coming down here today, you could have, I don't know, put on some pants."

"You know I don't like wearing pants unless I absolutely have to."

"Which is weird."

"Which is comfortable."

"Speaking of which, you think you could adjust your boxers? I'm getting a balls-eye view of the fellas from this angle."

"Oh, sorry."

"You know, between Sam's aversion to shirts, and your aversion to pants, it's like living in a frat house."

"You love it."

"..."

"Okay, you didn't need to throw an old clown's head at me. Which, gross by the way. Why do you even have this?"

"I went through a phase where I was really into antique clown figures, don't ask me why."

"And you couldn't have sold them at that yard sale instead of your dad's records."

"We tried, nobody wanted them. Not surprising really."

"They are really creepy looking. God you were a weird kid."

"I was weird? I remember when we were in elementary school, and you wore the same Spider-man shirt every day for an entire month."

"...Spider-man is awesome."

"I'm not denying that, but for a full month? Really Finn? How did Carole let you get away with that?"

"She didn't know, she'd drop me off at school in something different and I'd quickly change before class, then swap back into my other shirt before she picked me up at the end of the day."

"Ingenious. Why'd you stop?"

"Growth spurt. It didn't fit anymore. That was the year I started morphing into the Frankenteen that I am today. In two months I went from being the smallest kid in the class, to the tallest."

"Wow, I forgot that I used to be taller than you."

"Yeah, good times."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"How long have we been down here?"

"About an hour."

"My legs are turning blue."

"There's bound to be an old blanket or something in one of these boxes. Granted it's probably a bit moth-eaten and dusty."

"Gross. I think I'll pass."

"Then suffer."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So, that video?"

"Don't start."

"I never really figured you for a leather type of person. Kinky."

"I will toss this entire box of clowns at you if you keep talking."

"And that whip ...wow, just wow."

"..."

"OW!"

"I warned you, keep talking and I'll start placing those clowns in your bed while you sleep."

"Okay, I'll stop. Those things are creepy enough, I don't want to wake up and have them be the first things I see. I'd never sleep again."

"Kind of the point."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"Yeah, but I haven't my main breakfast yet."

"Your 'main breakfast'?"

"Yeah, you know, like I only had my pre-breakfast. Chips and soda."

"Before breakfast?"

"You don't do that?"

"What do you think?"

"Well you only eat that rabbit food in the mornings -"

"It's called muesli."

"And there's no way that could fill someone, so I always figured you eat like a bunch of other stuff as soon you get up."

"..."

"You don't?"

"It's frightening how well you know me."

"Don't get all sarcastic, it's too early in the morning for that."

"It's like 11am."

"Exactly."

"Right sorry, I forgot that rarely surface before 1 on weekends. So why is today different?"

"Rachel wanted to meet for lunch to practice."

"Why not dinner?"

"She's going out with her dads, they're celebrating or something."

"Birthday?"

"No, one of them just got a signed Barbra CD."

"They're celebrating that?"

"Yeah, weird I know."

"I'm kinda jealous."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You know, I could probably fit through that window up there. Get outside, use the spare key under the planter to get in and let you out."

"You think? I mean, it looks pretty narrow."

"I might as well try, and Blaine tells me I'm very flexible."

"I did not need to know that."

"Sorry."

"Will you definitely come and let me out of here?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I just wouldn't put it past you to leave me down here."

"Yeah, only if I was really pissed at you. You haven't really annoyed me this morning yet."

"Yet?"

"You're bound to do something, you always do."

"What about when I brought up the video?"

"I already punished you for that. Here, give me a boost."

"..."

"..."

"Jeez, you're a lot heavier than you look."

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Heavy with ...muscle?"

"Bad save. Now hold still."

"Wow, you really are quite flexible. You're like one of those bendy people at the circus, a creationist?"

"Contortionist."

"Right, that's the one."

"And, I'm out."

"Dude, that was impressive."

"Thanks."

"Now hurry up and let me out of here."

"Go wait by the door. I'll open it up for you."

"OK."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Kurt?"

"..."

"KURT?"

"..."

"Dude let me out of here!"

"..."

"This is because I called you heavy isn't it."

"..."

"I hate you."

* * *

_A/N: I love writing for Furt. It's my favourite pairing on the show (non-romantic wise), which explains why this chapter is slightly longer than the others. Tell me what you thought!_

_The next chapter, Blaine, will be the final one. I'm leaving out Joe because I don't really think he's been around enough that I can write him properly. And apart from lusting over Quinn, he hasn't really done that much on the show. So that's my justification._


	7. Chapter 7: Blaine and 'The Video'

**Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 7: Blaine (and 'The Video')**

_A/N: This is the final part, and is a prequel, focusing on the making of 'The Video' that all the characters have referenced in previous chapters._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

* * *

"Blaine ...I'm not sure about this."

"Look no one else is going to see it, it's just for us."

"But still, Frank-N-Furter?"

"What can I say? I've always had a thing for Tim Curry."

"In fishnet stockings?"

"Oh come on, just wear it."

"...Alright, but I'm not liking this. Give me a second to go to the bathroom to put this on."

"Why can't you just change here? Am I not allowed to see?"

"You want to be surprised, don't you?"

"Okay then, I'll set up the camera, and get ready for the show."

"..."

"..."

"We definitely have the place to ourselves, right?"

"My parents are out in L.A. visiting Cooper."

"Great, I really don't want them walking in on this."

"Yeah, me neither. How's it going in there?"

"This thing is tight, like, ridiculously tight."

"That's kind of the point babe."

"Doesn't exactly cover much either."

"That's a good thing."

"Okay, I think I'm in it, you ready?"

"Born ready."

"Here I come."

"..."

"..."

"Holy obvious bulge Batman! You weren't kidding, that is tight."

"Told you."

"Still, I'm not complaining."

"Is it okay?"

"It's just missing one little thing. Here."

"A whip, Frank didn't have a whip."

"Call it artistic licence. Now, you remember the words?"

"I've seen that movie a thousand times, of course I do."

"Take a seat, Mr. Anderson, and enjoy the view."

"Oh I will. Just let me turn on the camera, aaaand go."

"But a deltoid and a bicep."

"Someone has been working out."

"A hot groin!"

"There it is!

"...and a tricep. Makes me shake, makes me wanna take Blaine Anderson by the hand."

"Yeah you do."

"In just seven days I can make you a man."

"Work those hips."

"I don't want no dissension."

"None here."

"Just dynamic tension."

"I'm a muscle fan."

"In just seven days, I can make you a man."

"Strike that whip."

"Dig it if you can."

"Smack that ass."

"In just seven days, I can make you a ma-ha-ha-ha-han."

"Now give me some sugar."

"..."

"..."

"Turn the camera off."

"Done."

"Why Blaine, you look a little flushed."

"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"I can tell you thought so, I'm not the only one with a prominent bulge anymore."

"Well I know just how to get rid of it, come here you."

"..."

"..."

"You promise you won't show anyone that video, right?"

"Absolutely, now less talking, more stripping."

**THE END.**

* * *

_A/N: So that's my little story. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now sound off in the reviews and tell me what you thought._


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